You Have Beliefs

by Mark I Myhre on May 1, 2013

 

emotional healing beliefs

Beliefs Are Made To Change

Have you ever noticed it’s hard to change things, even when you try?

Sometimes it’s like beating your head against the wall.

Other times it’s like being lost in a maze.

And still other times it’s like you’re in a tape loop… repeating the same mistakes over and over.

 

You have consistency.

Often times it seems like a curse or certainly a burden.

And it almost never seems fair! Yet there it is.

“That’s the way I am…”

On this website, I want to cover the highlights – the main factors which come together to keep your life on an even keel… and keep it from changing. And in this one article, we’ll start with beliefs.

But first, why would there be mechanisms in place to keep things consistent? If I’m on the road to Omaha, why in the world would I tend to keep driving in that direction when where I really want to go is New Orleans? That’s where the fun is. So why do I keep driving north, when I don’t even want to go to Omaha?

Or, to be more poignant, why do I stay stuck in painful energies when I can plainly see it’s hurting me?

The simple answer is that you’ve got a mechanism in place, like an automatic pilot guidance system, that keeps you moving in one direction. And even when you try to change, or even when some outside force blows you off course, there’s some sort of system that seems to compensate for the change, and recalibrates your heading. So you’re still traveling towards that town filled with insurance salesmen.

But why is the automatic pilot guidance system even there at all?

Because the alternative would be worse. If you didn’t have a stabilizing, self-correcting mechanism in place, you would go insane, or you would already be dead. Best case scenario, you would live out your life as a helpless ward of the state.

No matter how frustrating and painful life may get due to your automatic pilot keeping your problems in place, it could be worse. It would be worse. Because at least now you’ve got a fighting chance. All you’ve got to do is understand the system, and work with it instead of against it.

How hard can that be?

It starts early. Actually, it starts before you were born. With all that planning and stuff you did. You set a course for this life knowing full well you were going to get blown off that course from day one. You studied those road maps pretty extensively before you started on this journey.

You come into this life with a belief package in place. You’ve got your temperament. You’ve got your personality. You come into this life with the essence of who you are intact. If you didn’t have amnesia, it really wouldn’t be that bad.

You come here with the hardware intact. And from day one, the software starts getting installed. For the first year or so, it’s mostly the input from your mother – as you think what she thinks, and you feel what she feels. You take on so much from her. If she’s depressed, you feel it. If she’s in pity or martyr, you feel it. And when she’s happy, you feel that as well.

You start learning ‘the way of the world’. Many, many new beliefs begin to form. It seems like they’re written in stone. Immutable. Undisputed facts. They become rigid and unyielding.

Not because they’re supposed to… because really, beliefs are designed to be fluid and flexible, and easily changed. Beliefs were never meant to be static. Because when they’re static, that’s how people die after living a miserable life. Static beliefs create pain and suffering and then they kill you.

That’s not the way it was meant to be.

Here’s what happens:

Have you ever noticed? Childhood gets a little painful sometimes. Even the most well-meaning mother usually ends up dumping shame on her child. Especially when she doesn’t even know what the word shame means. And that’s not to mention every other person in the world who was a part of your formative years.

I’d be willing to bet you don’t remember the depth of the despair you went through as a small child… the most critical time of all in your life. I’d wager you’ve blocked out just how scared and confused and freaked out of your mind you really were back then.

There was too much pain to handle… to process. You couldn’t deal with it in a healthy way. So it had to be put somewhere. Pain doesn’t just evaporate like the morning dew. Quite the contrary. It tends to spread and grow. It must be put in a container.

You had to do something with the pain you couldn’t process. The only option you had available to you at the time was to store it in your newly-formed beliefs. And to a lesser extent, your attitudes.

That’s why people will defend their beliefs to the death. And that’s why people end up dying because of their beliefs. They put their pain in their beliefs. They put that FREAKED-OUT-OF-MY-MIND energy in their beliefs.

They don’t want to feel that pain. They don’t want to be freaked out of their minds. So they guard those beliefs carefully, and tend to attack anyone who challenges those beliefs. You see it every day, if you look for it. It becomes obvious – especially when you look at other people, instead of yourself!

Beliefs are one of the most important contributors to our reality. When they are fluid and flexible, life becomes fluid and flexible. Life becomes FUN. But when beliefs are static and rigid and unyielding, life sucks. Pain and misery abound. We become emotionally arthritic. We’re no longer vagile.

And things stay the same.

We don’t want to touch our beliefs because they’re filled with the pain we don’t want to feel. Therefore, our beliefs tend to stay locked in place. Not because it’s the nature of belief – but because we insist on locking them into place.

It’s like getting a splinter in your foot and then refusing to move.

This is the first, but not the only reason, things tend to stay the same in our lives.

Next time, we’ll look at some other reasons.

In the meantime, please click on one of the brightly-colored links below to share this article on your favorite social media site.

Because if enough people read this, then I won’t have to go out and get a job. And I’m getting a little too old to work.

Or so I believe…



{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }

Mike May 1, 2013 at 6:55 pm

Ah…. The belief system. It can hinder many a person. I agree that beliefs need to be flexible at times. It can be difficult at times, especially for younger people because it causes confusion for them when they are still growing and figuring out their place in the world. However, as you go through this thing called life you better be flexible because you will be left behind and begin the process of “dying” as you state.

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Mark I Myhre May 2, 2013 at 1:27 pm

Hey Mike,

I hope I wasn’t overstating things there… but that’s my opinion

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Leslie May 1, 2013 at 7:04 pm

Hi! Again Mark,

This Article Was Very Good As Well.
I Love Your Sense Of Humor! Thank You Very Much For Sharing This Article With Me.

Take Good Care Of Yourself, And Stay Well.

ALL THE BEST TO YOU,
LESLIE

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Mark I Myhre May 2, 2013 at 1:28 pm

Hi Leslie

always good to hear from you!

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Agneta May 1, 2013 at 7:30 pm

I totally agree about the limiting beliefs, I have lots of them that my subconsious dont want me to look into. Do you have a good solution?

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Mark I Myhre May 2, 2013 at 1:32 pm

Hi Agneta,

from my experience, the subconscious functions like a computer, and doesn’t really have wants – but I’ve only been working with it for about 15 years, so I still have a lot to learn.

it sounds like some other part of you who doesn’t want you to look at it.

if it were me, I would sit down and close my eyes, relax, breathe deeply, and ask that part of me to show itself and come forth and talk to me about what the reluctance is

you might have to do it a few times, to get some practice in

I will be writing more about the subconscious soon, since it ties in here, with beliefs and making things stay the same

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Narik May 1, 2013 at 8:07 pm

Thanks Mark. What the difference between “Beliefs” and “Values”, please?

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Mark I Myhre May 2, 2013 at 1:37 pm

Hi Narik,

here’s my opinion:

a belief is a ‘statement of fact’ that is stored in the subconscious and/or unconscious mind and becomes a raw material out of which we create our reality.

a value is a conscious determination of some energy that we have deemed to be important to us

values are a product of conscious effort -we have to think about it and make decisions about what to hold

values are usually energies such as love, kindness, honesty

beliefs are statements stored in the other-than-conscious part of ourselves

values are something we move towards
beliefs are something that shape and mold our reality

that’s my take on it, anyway

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Dale Jackman May 1, 2013 at 8:22 pm

Hi Mark, I just want to say, here on this website where people can see, that I think you are so right about everything going back to the initial programming of the ‘software’ we get as tiny children. Having read and benifited so much from the things you write I know from my own experience that you also can show people what they can do to change.

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Mark I Myhre May 2, 2013 at 1:38 pm

thanks, Dale

I’m almost sensing a ‘coaching testimonial’ in there!

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Dana Stewart May 2, 2013 at 7:55 am

hi Mark, I enjoy your write ups and get a lot out of them…. I have been so traumatised in my life….and keep repeating terrible relationship patterns… I turn 39 tomorrow on the 3rd May 2013 and I still haven’t worked through integrating the little abused Dana into the adult Dana….any insights???
P.S… I shared your page on my Facebook page… wondering if you would be interested to check out what I do and pass it on to your clients….it’s in relation to music, and healing…encouraging people to write and record their own song to gift as a gift to their loved one! http://www.giftasongproductions.com
Cheers from Australia
Dana.

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Mark I Myhre May 2, 2013 at 1:42 pm

Hi Dana,

I will be writing a lot more about the inner child, since I consider it essential for everyone to look at

I consider it one of the reasons why people stay the same, so I’ll be covering it soon.

As for your website, I see you’ve got a link to it – that’s good.

These comments are a good place to talk about it since most people will read the comments below an article – if you want to add a few more words about your site, feel free to.

I assume you work with people locally to your area?

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amy May 3, 2013 at 1:39 am

mark i would like to speak with you about some personal issues i have. can you email me hope we can connect. thanks amy

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Mark I Myhre May 3, 2013 at 1:21 pm

I just sent you an email

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Dee May 3, 2013 at 5:51 am

How about pain? Most people don’t want to feel it, right?
How to deal with it Mark..?

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Mark I Myhre May 3, 2013 at 1:26 pm

I’ve actually been planning on setting up a whole separate website on that, but for now, the short answer is that whenever I have any type of pain, physical or emotional, I always try to bring it closer and feel it more

NOT as a way to be in more pain!

But that’s how I handle pain and when I feel it more, it doesn’t seem to last as long.

Keep in mind, you need to be willing to feel – and that often takes a whole new mindset, and some practice

My basic mindset – pain comes from being separate from something you long for. Usually it starts with emotional pain.

I also believe some people come into this life knowing they have more work to do with pain, than other people.

Again, this is a complex subject, and I don’t want to oversimplify it too much, but these are some basic ideas that work for me.

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JOSÉ lUIS May 3, 2013 at 10:50 am

But some beliefs are positive Why to get rid of them?
They keep us in the good track although it seems that are limiting us.
Thyis is somethjing to be keep in mind .

Is it not right?

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Mark I Myhre May 3, 2013 at 1:27 pm

Absolutely, some beliefs are positive! Maybe most. And I would see no reason to get rid of them.

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CHILESHE January 16, 2014 at 6:27 am

how to come out of beliefs that made our life miserable.

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Mark I Myhre January 17, 2014 at 3:10 am

I would start by writing out the beliefs I want to change. Then, I would work to really FEEL the energy that holds them in place. Spend some time on it, because that’s what’s holding the belief in place.

Once you clear up the energy around a belief, it’s easy to flip it around to a new belief that supports you.

But if you’re talking about being miserable, keep in mind there’s tons of stories about life that MUST be there – that’s what makes people miserable.

Anyway, I would start with the processing – getting out paper and pen and write stuff out. Maybe make a list of the beliefs that are making you miserable.

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